Shoeston, we have a problem.

This is Yelly Kitty–not yelling–and my shoes. Some of my shoes.

Most of these are teaching shoes, bought on sale with the justification that I could teach in them. Let’s be honest though, “teaching” is just a cover for “I want these but I don’t need another pair of shoes. Or do I?”
Let’s review how effective I am at talking myself into snake oil:
The Comfort Zone. Black mary-janes, Camper; red t-straps, Camper. On sale and not, respectively. Totally worth it, respectively.
PROS: amazingly comfortable; awesome
CONS: starting to shabbify because I have worn them so often for years (3 and 4, respectively); the mary-janes may be a little too “young”
SOLUTION: Retire these as summer shoes?
Ballet Flats Collection. Leopard print pony hair, Topshop; black leather, Dune; poison green patent, London Sole. All bought on sale.
PROS: adorable; leopard print, in small doses, rocks
CONS: unexpectedly & unpleasantly uncomfortable, especially because I congratulated myself every time for being sensible and buying flats; the pony hair is starting to bald
SOLUTION: arch supports?

The Dream Team. Blue suede shoes, brand new vintage; green plaid wedges, Keds; pink and purple wedges, Two Lips. Very inexpensive.
PROS: unexpectedly comfortable; an easy pop of colour; bargains

CONS: wear; the Keds are canvas and grubbify easily
SOLUTION: cry when they inevitably become too shabby for the classroom
The Girl Crush. Camel suede, Stuart Weitzman; brown lace-ups, Zinda. Both bought on sale, deeply discounted.
PROS: I love them; and also, I love them.
CONS: not comfortable, unless you have a driver. Or a litter
SOLUTION: Get a limousine. Or several nubile youths.

More Brown Shoes. Open-toe wedges, Kenzie; closed-toe wedges, Ralph Lauren. eBay and Winners, respectively.
PROS: neutral; a bargain
CONS: pinchy; why did I buy these again?
SOLUTION: Swap or sell
Seasonal Colour. Red boots, Fly London; teal sandals, Caravel. Both bought on sale.
PROS: colour!; the boots are comfy and look especially great with a knee length skirt
CONS: sandals are surprisingly hard to style; there is a whiff of “senior” about them. Is it the heel height?
SOLUTION: keep and swap, respectively

The Wedding Shoes. Red patent leather slingbacks, Nine West; black suede ankle-straps, BCBG. On sale at The Bay and Winners, respectively.
PROS: not comfortable per se, but I can cut a serious rug in these babies
CONS: too high and too dressy for the classroom
SOLUTION: keep cutting rugs
The Wedding Shoes, part deux. Black and white embroidered lace slingbacks, Nine West. Bought to wear to a wedding but went with the red instead (see above).
PROS: lovely, especially with a black dress
CONS: too dressy for the classroom; never worn (shamefully)
SOLUTION: get invited someplace and wear them

Not So Basic Black. Open-toe suede with cork footbed, Via Spiga; flats with ankle laces, Vialis. Winners and a shoe shop in Barcelona (how could I go to Barcelona and not buy shoes?)
PROS: awesome
CONS: too summery for the classroom in my clime
SOLUTION: wear them and be awesome
Magic! United Nude. Bought on sale in a shop in Covent Garden with Academic Writer.
PROS: optical illusion
CONS: optical illusion
SOLUTION: write lectures that are more distracting than my shoes (possibly impossible)

Glittery! Marks and Spencer. On sale.
PROS: glittery!; comfortable
CONS: bronze and gold shoes are not as neutral as I thought
SOLUTION: buy more clothes to match these shoes
The Future. Pale grey tennies, Bensimon; pale pink basketball shoes, Bensimon. Not on sale. I was insane. But I love them (see above).
PROS: comfortable like clouds; chic (they’re from France, darling, France)
CONS: too casual for the classroom (unless I style them right, right?)
SOLUTION: develop quirky yet professional style that allows these into my professional life (possibly impossible)

The Back-up Plan. Tap shoes, Capezio.
PROS: professional
CONS: not professional academic
SOLUTION: Publish or tap

9 thoughts on “Shoeston, we have a problem.

  1. Thanks everyone for enabling me in my shoe-love. I should clarify that these are only my work-related shoes (I threw in the wedding shoes to up the pretty factor and I have worn the red to two work-related events); I have many more. Stay tuned for a boots post …

  2. Thanks everyone for enabling me in my shoe-love. I should clarify that these are only my work-related shoes (I threw in the wedding shoes to up the pretty factor and I have worn the red to two work-related events); I have many more. Stay tuned for a boots post …

  3. I don't even want to do a shoe post, I think I would be embarrassed at my hoarder ways…Your optical illusion shoes are crazy! Love them!ps. thanks for your comment… it's funny, one of the most unexpected side-effects of starting the blog has been falling in love with Hamilton. It gets plenty of bad press but it has a lot to offer and endless (!) photo spots!

  4. Ooh, great shoe collection. I think you should wear the sandals with awesome tights, a trend that I see a lot of folks wearing. Also, what size are you? Those closed toe Ralph Lauren sandals are sweetly whispering my name.

  5. Yup, a square wooden heel that's about 2 inches high, maybe shorter? I bought these in London (with you?) and I have worn them exactly twice since then because I am certain my gramma had a pair of these exact sandals. In white, obviously.

  6. Lawd, I LOVE a shoe fashion encyclopedia. This. Is. Awesome. And I wish we had the same size feet as we could do a serious shoe swap.As for the blue sandals, I've been stalking a similarly coloured pair on ebay. . . Is the heel chunky? Sometimes I find a chunky heel with a wide t-strap entices me to buy (seems vintage-y & thus awesome), then sits in my closet because it ages me by 50 years every time I try it on. In short, I have no suggestions for these. But please let me know if you find a combination that works!

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