Scroll Down for Outfit Post, or Read Ahead for Tangential Ranting
As my partner is out of town, my mother is visiting and has been since Tuesday. She is the kind of house guest who requires a lot of scheduling. In the past, I have pushed her to do her own thing, or to check out the scene and make some suggestions for activities. But it’s end-of-term and I’m too bloody tired for such tactics; so instead, in anticipation of her iron-willed refusal to do anything alone, or even to leave the apartment unaccompanied, I planned 3 full days of activities for us.
And then she came a day early – a scheduling change I forgot in the flurry of marking, invigilating exams, then marking again. Today was, therefore, a “free” day between yesterday’s shopping and gardening, and tomorrow’s spa visits and wine show. Today I tried to plan as we went along; and it did not go well. Because she didn’t find my on-the-fly suggestions very stimulating and, as usual, she had none of her own.
Which is not to say that we didn’t do all of the things I suggested. No, we did them. But she made it clear that today bored her, and that we really could have – and should have (she’s big on the guilt) – done MUCH more with our time.
After a series of made-up errands, one of which was really just an excuse for me to spend 20 minutes alone in my office at the university (while she walked the dog in the parking lot), my breaking point came when we tried to hang pictures in my apartment. This was a poor plan but, as noted above, I was doing it live and I plan better when I’ve put more thought into these things. Yeah, two relatively strong-willed people should not measure, drill, cut, and hammer things together, unless one is willing to let the other be the boss. And now I am filled with rage, so I’ve retreated to my room to “sleep.”
This information has no relation to today’s outfit post. I just needed to vent, and in this small apartment with my mother two feet away at all times, I can’t call anyone.
I teach and research at a university, for peter’s sake – how can one tall, stern, opinionated, co-dependent woman make me feel like such a child? In fact, I’m nearly overcome with guilt as I type this post. I shouldn’t say such things about my mother. She came here to visit at my request, after all. She’s offered to tailor the things I’ve had stacked in the corner of my closet for months. She cooked “Favourite Casserole” for dinner tonight. We’ve shopped all my favourite places, then discussed our new treasures over coffee or lunch. And we’re going to have a good time tomorrow, too. We’ll laugh, and get pedicures, and drink wine, and enjoy each other’s company, again.
But the “free” days kill me. The woman requires a schedule.
Actual Style Blog Post Begins Here
Here’s the outfit I wish I’d worn this week – today, in fact – instead of last.
Inspired by Londyn over at BlogFashion, I tried to choose pieces with special details (not counting the cardigan). But I also tried to keep the colour palette muted so that there wasn’t too much going on. Pardon, once again, the Wonder Woman pose in the last image; I’m trying to show the detailing in the skirt (and am looking ridiculous in the process).
Top: Zokai (a Canadian line – holla!)
Cardigan: Smart Set
Skirt: Take it Easy!
Boots: Miss Mooz (remixed)
BBQ: some big-box store downtown
‘Thoughts? Have you tried this, too? If so, how about posting a link to your favourite ensemble so we can all enjoy?
In Professorial Fashion 
I like your Wonder Woman poses. They are like your signature. The colors and the details of this outfit are really awesome. Do you get your keen eye from you mum?Sorry about the mum drama. I also have a really strong mother (but she is tiny like an itty bitty bird, which makes her more scary), but she has somewhat slowed down in her frenzy since she got a little ill a few months ago. I know you're mad now, but is there anyway you can laugh about it. Like when she says "oh a wasted day," you could laugh and say, "You're so funny. A day with you is never wasted!" It might help ease the tension (or not. Maybe she'd get more angry). My strategy with my mom (whom I really love but not in huge doses, and never in my small apartment) is to respond with uber rationality when she gets snippy or mean. I say, "I love you, Mom, but I don't think that this is a productive conversation." or "I know you didn't mean to say that to hurt my feelings." (Bascially, I treat her like a child having a tantrum). This is not to deny the times I've gotten really upset over stuff my mom says, but I try to forget that quickly.
D-Med, I can't wait for the jazz hands. Though it's going to be hard to top the office-blazer-and-pj's. And thanks, you two, for the mum-related thoughts & wishes. Rad, I like your tactic of treating mum like a child having a tantrum. I'll be employing this strategy the next time she says something exceptionally judgmental (and I predict this will be first thing tomorrow morning).The spa totally made things better – though she had a brief tantrum about having to lie still for long periods of time during her facial. The woman cannot be zen; she has to move.Are you guys going to post some ensemble links, then?
I agree with Rad on the Wonder Woman poses. They are an awesome signature. I'm working on a signature pose with jazz hands (no, really, I am. I need a tripod.).I also agree with Rad about the Mum stuff, but I won't weigh in because I am not one to give advice on mother-daughter relations since I suck at them. As you know, A-Dubs.Hope the spa visit mitigates the rage.
Atlanta seems a reasonable compromise. Your Um-ma sounds trippy; it's good you seem to know how to manage her. Do you still call her "Ums"?I sort of wish my mom was less comfortable crashing at my pad – especially as over the last ten years, she's developed an obsession with clearing dishes and cleaning the kitchen. At this point, I practically have to strap my plates and cups to my person to avoid their being whisked away before I've finished.
A-Dubs, my mother would NEVER stay in our "mixed" neighborhood in Brooklyn. She has champagne tastes (and somewhat has champagne means), despite a working class upbringing. Also, she hate pets. They cause too much chaos and messiness. All of the NYC is too rough for her. Nope, we are going to suburban Atlanta (not where I am from) to visit the fam and attend a wedding.The Korean word for "mom" is 엄마, which is pronounced "Um-ma" (not to be confused with the Dutch/German word for grandmother: Oma). We got lazy in High School and called her "Ums" and she does not like that.
p.s. What is the Korean title, by the way?
Gah! Five classes! Hold on, woman.And thanks: yesterday went well as I had the entire day carefully scheduled. Is your mother coming to the city to see both you and Blokey? How do you work it so she doesn't stay with you?
Outfits with each piece having special details? I'll figure one out for Monday, as my sad self still has 5 classes left to teach. I've got ruffles in mind. And busyness. Lots of busy-ness.Hope the rest of your time with your mum went better or at least OK (I don't call her my mom or mum, I call her by her Korean title, that's how business my mother is). I had to talk to mine today about a visit with Blokey in June.
D-Med, I can't wait for the jazz hands. Though it's going to be hard to top the office-blazer-and-pj's. And thanks, you two, for the mum-related thoughts & wishes. Rad, I like your tactic of treating mum like a child having a tantrum. I'll be employing this strategy the next time she says something exceptionally judgmental (and I predict this will be first thing tomorrow morning).The spa totally made things better – though she had a brief tantrum about having to lie still for long periods of time during her facial. The woman cannot be zen; she has to move.Are you guys going to post some ensemble links, then?
I agree with Rad on the Wonder Woman poses. They are an awesome signature. I'm working on a signature pose with jazz hands (no, really, I am. I need a tripod.).I also agree with Rad about the Mum stuff, but I won't weigh in because I am not one to give advice on mother-daughter relations since I suck at them. As you know, A-Dubs.Hope the spa visit mitigates the rage.
I like your Wonder Woman poses. They are like your signature. The colors and the details of this outfit are really awesome. Do you get your keen eye from you mum?Sorry about the mum drama. I also have a really strong mother (but she is tiny like an itty bitty bird, which makes her more scary), but she has somewhat slowed down in her frenzy since she got a little ill a few months ago. I know you're mad now, but is there anyway you can laugh about it. Like when she says "oh a wasted day," you could laugh and say, "You're so funny. A day with you is never wasted!" It might help ease the tension (or not. Maybe she'd get more angry). My strategy with my mom (whom I really love but not in huge doses, and never in my small apartment) is to respond with uber rationality when she gets snippy or mean. I say, "I love you, Mom, but I don't think that this is a productive conversation." or "I know you didn't mean to say that to hurt my feelings." (Bascially, I treat her like a child having a tantrum). This is not to deny the times I've gotten really upset over stuff my mom says, but I try to forget that quickly.