Shummer

Like D-Med, I am ridiculously successful at talking myself into a variety of foot coverings, many of which my professional life does not demand. And so, as a means to further justify my purchases, and as D-Med has already done here, and here, I shall review (some of) my (summer) shoe collection.
Before I begin, I should disclose that there is a huge and heavenly shoe boutique near my in-law’s place. Usually, I visit on holiday weekends when the shoe heaven’s having a sale. The sales are never great – they specialize in 10-15% off – but it’s always enough to make me look. And try. And convince myself I can teach in them. . .

Workhorses – With Lift: black & cork wedges, Clarks; brown plastic & goldish neoprene flipflops, Sketchers; fuchsia patent-leather t-strap flat-platforms, remixed, all from Shoe Heaven.

PROS: comfortable – after spring training, can be worn all day; match most things
CONS: this horrible photo effect that I cannot undo; also, one wedge makes a fart-like whooshing sound with every step; flipflops break down quickly & require Foot Petals arch cookies; But really, there’s nothing wrong. Nothing. I love these shoes.
SOLUTIONS: see cobbler about fart sound, but come up with way to describe problem that doesn’t require me to say “fart” to cobbler; buy multiple pairs of flipflops; pray to shoe gods that all will last forever
Workhorses – Without Lift: red “u” straps, Clarks (Shoe Heaven); white ankle-straps, also Clarks (but from the same shop in Barcelona where D-Med got her cute ankle-tie Campers); black patent peep-toes with silver buttons, Un Tour en Ville: Chaussures (panicked purchase during conference as all other shoes unexpectedly transformed into torture devices on first day)
PROS: reasonable comfort; great for travel and conferencing; enough heel cushion so plantar fasciitis & heel spurs not entirely inevitable
CONS: white ankle straps do unflattering things to legs; none are appropriate for walking all day (see above re: heel injuries)
SOLUTIONS: wear pants with white ankle-straps; gel heel inserts?; stay in conference hotel (not a wallet-friendly option), or stay elsewhere, walk to conference, but go to only one panel discussion/keynote, then hold court in hotel pub for remainder of day
Les Moody Bruns: peach & brown wedges, Geox (Shoe Heaven); brown faux-croc sandals, Dansko; brass-studded tan with toe strap & stacked heel, Michael Kors (Winners)
PROS: all relatively comfortable if worn on the right day; mix & matchable with (almost) everything
CONS: on the wrong day, these bitches bite; wide strap on Kors does not work with knee-length skirts
SOLUTIONS: carry Foot Glide & bandages at all times; wear Kors anyway & get huge rush wearing shoes could/would not otherwise afford
Female Nudes: blush pointy-toes, Bandolino; sling-back peep-toes, Tahari; both from Winners
PROS: nude, so match everything; graduated colour on slingbacks is like latte in glass mug; non-foot cutting
CONS: blush are half-size too big (why did I buy these? Oh, right – remarkable discount); neither are great for hiking to giant lecture hall
SOLUTION: swap Bandolinos (size 10 Bandolino, anyone? anyone? Bueller?); wear flats & switch for slingbacks on campus-hiking days
Here’s Your One Chance Fancy: gold wedges, Arturo Chiang (Shoe Heaven); fuchsia sandals, Naturalizer; bronze ankle-strap kitten heels, Vitelli (Shoe Heaven)
PROS: wedding & summer-dress-up friendly; wedges make me super-tall & my legs super-long; all totally rad with LBDs
CONS: have all begun to shabbify as result of multiple wedding-wearings & 1 epic trip to Vegas
 
SOLUTION: ask cobbler if any can be saved; begin shopping for replacements asap; get time machine working, return to past & buy multiple pairs of each; also use time machine to prevent “incident” that ruined golden goddess sandals last summer
Formal, But Not for Fancy: black & white pointy-toes, Andrew Geller (Winners); black slides, What’s What by Aerosole (DSW); brown, gold, & leopard print mary janes, Bobbi Blu (Shoe Heaven)
PROS: classroom staples, more formal & thus fit for meetings; Bobbi Blus keep eyes front in classroom
CONS: surprisingly, all less foot-friendly than Tahari slingbacks; mostly good for sitting, standing still, or pacing thoughtfully while delivering lectures
SOLUTIONS: more Foot Glide; get shares in Foot Glide company; more wearing of flats between office & lecture; never wear at conferences
Rhinestones, Sequins, & Shine: black, leopard print, & rhinestone buckle slides, Dezario (Shoe Heaven, huge discount. massive.); navy sequin espadrilles, Roman Tenza (shoe shop at In Professorial Fashion, Eastern Division); peachy-gold & brown slides with rhinestone buckle, ?? (Shoe Heaven)
PROS: so shiny no one cares about lecture or what else am wearing besides shoes; all ridiculously comfortable, even without Foot Glide or inserts; sequins on Roman Tenzas flip to silver, so two pairs in one
CONS: so shiny no one cares about lecture or what am wearing besides shoes; too silly for academia?
SOLUTIONS: Foot Petals in Roman Tenzas to make even more awesome. Wear neutrals. Try to be as awesome as shoes.
Fuzzy Foot Cover: Wheaten Terrier, remixed; gives this face to returning shoppers whose time would be better spent going to park, or helping rip faces off stuffed bears
PROS: cute, smart, fuzzy, awesome, has doggie dreams that include closed-mouth woofs
CONS: too cute, too smart, skilled guilt-tripper
SOLUTIONS: shoe-shop less; construct doggie blindfold; get him his own flock of Wheatens to supervise who will thus distract him from giving me this face
Will you be posting a shoe catalogue anytime soon? Because that would be really, really awesome.

8 thoughts on “Shummer

  1. Pingback: Repetition 2.0 | In Professorial Fashion

  2. You have mad shoe skillz. And also some mad photo styling skillz–I enjoy the hint of ivy in every shot. I can't believe I have never seen the brown, gold and leopard print mj's which are awesome. How have I missed those?!? You need to post an outfit built around those babies. And also one built around the rhinestone buckles, though maybe they are NSFW?Also, this from OiB, deodorant does the same work as Foot Glide and it is way cheaper. And, you know, it's deodorant.

  3. That's weird but great about the B.O. killer. I'll be testing this info almost immediately. Also, as I don't have a Yelly Kitty or a Vampire Cat, the ivy seemed the next best thing. You know, because I'm an important, important photographic artist.I will try to style some ensembles as requested. Usually, however, my shoes are pretty much the best thing about my outfits. Especially when I wear those. And finally, I'm convinced the rhinestone buckles can work for work. I'm going to pretend they are black and wear them whenever I would otherwise have worn boring chunky black things.

  4. Thanks for posting this! I don't know if I'll catalog my shoes soon, as I am supposed to throw some out, and I have shoe closet shame (I don't have more than you or DMed, but too many for such a small apartment). I don't think I would be able to handle a good shoe store by Blokey's parents' house, although his minimalist style mom might make a judgey sound to give me pause.I love your shoes, and I wish I was a size 10 (but am not) so I could swap for you unwanted Bandolinos. And I am happy to see that you share my love of the wedge, which is the shoe gods' gifts to klutzy gals, who still desire to lengthen the leg line.

  5. That's weird but great about the B.O. killer. I'll be testing this info almost immediately. Also, as I don't have a Yelly Kitty or a Vampire Cat, the ivy seemed the next best thing. You know, because I'm an important, important photographic artist.I will try to style some ensembles as requested. Usually, however, my shoes are pretty much the best thing about my outfits. Especially when I wear those. And finally, I'm convinced the rhinestone buckles can work for work. I'm going to pretend they are black and wear them whenever I would otherwise have worn boring chunky black things.

  6. You have mad shoe skillz. And also some mad photo styling skillz–I enjoy the hint of ivy in every shot. I can't believe I have never seen the brown, gold and leopard print mj's which are awesome. How have I missed those?!? You need to post an outfit built around those babies. And also one built around the rhinestone buckles, though maybe they are NSFW?Also, this from OiB, deodorant does the same work as Foot Glide and it is way cheaper. And, you know, it's deodorant.

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