Wonder Woman – Not the Pose

My colleague looked at me in this outfit today and said, “Wow! That is one big belt!” I could have gotten all bloggery on her a$$ and explained how long-bodies blah, blah, need wide belts, blah, blah. But I held it together and instead told her it was my power source. I added that without it, I lose my superpowers. Then I turned and powerfully walked into the wall.

Not on purpose. I missed the doorway.

Gray cotton jersey top with off-centre neckline: Cassis

Blue cotton cardigan: Smart Set

Floral cotton skirt: Esprit

White leather Wonder Belt: Winners (remixed)

Pink t-strap platform flats: Kenneth Cole (remixed)

I’m still skipping accessories; it’s too hot, they’re too sticky, and I am too easily annoyed (by them and too many other things) in the heat.

Also, I know: the skirt should be an inch or two shorter. In my defence, it used to be. Thus far, I’ve been too lazy (and have not trusted the weight loss to stick) to bother having it altered. Instead, I wear it around my hips, but disguise its placement with long tops, etc.

And speaking of tops, this one needs a shave; it’s starting to pill because I wear it so much. But gun-metal gray is one of my favourite colours; it doesn’t wash me out quite as much as black. In addition, it looks great with fall colours like wine, rose, blueberry, teal, and chocolate brown. Oh goddess, I cannot wait for the release of the September issues of every fashion magazine known to humankind!

Until then, I’ll be wowing my colleagues with my grace.

‘Embarrassing work moments, anyone (else)?

Care to share? It’ll be like a support group.

(I promise to say sympathetic & encouraging things.)

26 thoughts on “Wonder Woman – Not the Pose

  1. AuH: Gah! Drunken student encounters are the worst! Also, 'can't wait to see what wide belt you choose. (You'll be posting about it, right?)C: Quick – switch lives with me. Your faculty sounds so very cultured.FStL: Love it. I tried to get my students to love WW last fall, but they were having none of it. They don't know. Also, welcome to our blog! Are you staying? Will you come back?

  2. Ah, I love this! I also have a long torso and my wallet is currently suffering from my love affair with big belts. Plus, this reminds me of one of my favorite quotes, which just happens to be from Wonder Woman: "Go in peace my daughter, and remember, in the world of ordinary mortals, you are a wonder woman."

  3. A-Dubs, I'm sure they see it as me enriching the cultural life of the academic community. I am a well-rounded citizen.Considering we have a guy in our program who has a sideline as a love psychic, and I've got an (also tenured) colleague who ran the campus ballroom dance team before she had a baby, and another who is apparently now moonlighting as a DJ, I'm pretty sure belly dancing is only considered moderately eccentric.

  4. *Love* this outfit and am inching my way toward an enormous belt of my own!Hmmmm….most embarrassing so far would be making my way home at around 2 in the morning in an unteacherly outfit and running into a former student who yelled "ENGLISH TEACHER!" loud enough to wake the dead.

  5. Agh! I got caught up in Twilight hatred and didn't respond to your comment Cynthia.But I want to because you share such an alarming story. Really!? That's kind of awesome, given your current position. Do you ever wonder if the costume contributed in some small way to your wild academic success 😉 ?

  6. SU: Thanks for the safety pin tip. I'm full-on using it asap. Also, you're right. It's best that superheroes keep their identities secret lest chaos ensue! And finally, if only my toppling over could look even a little artsy. D-Med & A: I declare a tie for gold. But you two are waaaay far ahead of the silver medalists in this event. I'm having a tiny bit of sympathy face-ache right now.LHdM: Gah! Really? It was on tape? That's ridiculously bad luck! Also, 'so glad to know you've read the Twilight goodies. I burned through them this spring and while they didn't quite gut my soul, even my apologist mindset could not help but fall apart when I hit Breaking Dawn.

  7. I love that outfit.My embarrassing work moment was running into the Dean when a fire alarm caused the lunch-hour belly dance class I was teaching to have to run out into the quad, so I was a) in practice costume and b) doing something during the work day that isn't really part of my job. This was before I had tenure.

  8. Bwhahaha! That story is so completely amazing. Once I fell over at work (college job) for absolutely no reason whatsoever. One second I was standing not moving. The next I was on the ground. It was on security camera, so everyone found out about it. Awesomeness.To answer your question about the Twilight series. I did read all the books. Last summer we were on vacation at a cottage in PE county Ontario and I needed something mindless to read. They gutted my soul with their smoldering prose and anti-feminist message.

  9. Wow DM, that sounds pretty painful! There is something pretty humbling about facial injuries, since there's nowhere to hide them. I don't see a photo though, but it's really early in the morning, so it's possible I could've missed it.Despite my clumsiness, that's the only time I've ever needed stitches or an emergency tetanus shot. Usually I just wind up with mystery bruises. But I'm with you on the crying – I remember going to the bathroom at the hospital and balling at how horrible it all looked. I have a scar above my eye and one next to my mouth, but the ER doctors did a pretty good job stitching me up so you can't really see them unless you look really, really hard.

  10. Okay Anne. Your face-first dive sounds terrible! I did not require stitches though I think I may have cracked my nose. I was running up a set of stairs in the Toronto subway to catch a bus and I tripped and fell and landed face-first with the bridge of my nose on the riser of a concrete step. My eye swelled shut immediately. I still had to catch my bus so I booked it to the terminal, caught the bus, got a seat, and cried the whole way home. Mostly because I had this really important interview in 4 days' time and knew I had broken my face. I didn't go to the hospital because I had so much work to do to prep for my interview and I figured there was nothing they could do anyway. I have a few small scars where I cut my nose because I landed so hard on it. Of course my mother drove in to give me a tetanus shot (she's a nurse and accustomed to my frequent accidents) and to make me eat. Miraculously, I got the job so it all turned out alright and I think that having a busted face made me more myself at the interview anyway. The Chair of my department said it made me look tough, which was a good thing for our institution. Pretty cool. I think I've posted a photo of my eye in a previous post (labelled "Ten Facts" I think?) if you want to see how tough I am.

  11. This might sound radical, but next time try safety pins to tighten the waist and hold the skirt up. Then use the tank to hid it. I've had to do that to a few of my skirts. (I wish I had Rad's sewing superpower.)I do admire your belt wearing ways, and how your WW pose emphasizes the belt and your small waist. Oh, yes, that was a smooth move faking your colleague out by walking into the wall and looking oh so awkward. Now, she/he will never guess your true identity. Super Friends Unite!p.s. as for awkward, have you seen how long my legs are? My tripping is so good, it is almost an artform.

  12. Well, if I share I'd definitely like to hear where D-Med's black eyes came from! It happened about 5 years ago, when I was younger and, well, dumber. It involved me and said co-worker, an "all-you-can-drink" deal, a piggy-back ride from a stranger and an ice storm. The drink deal made me think that a piggy-back ride was a great idea, despite the icy sidewalks outside. Said stranger slipped on the ice and dropped me on my head. So, when people say they fell flat on their face, I actually have! I got 11 stitches in my face and had a black eye (with blown blood vessels – I know, eiww!) and fat lip. The co-worker quit a few months later, but she's been one of my best friends ever since so it was really only good for my social life 🙂

  13. C: Thanks for your comment. Luckily, we are our own worst critics! This is the only thing that keeps me talking to colleagues at all :)JAO: That's a great story. Obviously, the fact of your excellence negates your less-than-excellent reply!OiB: Thanks so much for your endorsement. Given that you recently posted about belts – having done extensive research on same – I'm happy to receive these kind words!Anne: Thanks for your comment. I think we might need a little more information about the weekend event that gave you a black eye and fat lip! And with a co-worker, no less! That's some serious professional networking 🙂 Also, long-bodies have lots of space for wide belts!

  14. Work is probably the only arena in my life where I don't have a ton of embarrassing stories. Although I can relate to D-Med having black eyes, since I did show up to work one Monday morning with a black eye and a fat lip. After going drinking with a co-worker over the weekend. I can't imagine interviewing like that though, but I bet it would at least break the ice!Even with the longer skirt length, that's a great outfit. I'm so jealous of how well you can rock a belt like that!

  15. I love the details throughout this outfit – the off-center neckline and the print in the skirt and that wide, wonderful belt. Such a fantastic look!

  16. Okay. If this makes you feel any better:I was at a 2-day off-site meeting I organized/planned the agenda for several of our program depts, media and the president of our non-profit. The president came up to me to compliment me on an amazing job. "This meeting went really well. I really think you're just amazing."My awkward split-second reply, "Thanks…*crickets*…I think you're amazing, too!":/

  17. Maybe the colleague was speaking In Awe of the belt's fabulousness, which it has in spades. I have so many incidents of foot-in-mouth that I'm surprised I ever say anything anymore, but somehow I persist in creating new memorable moments.

  18. D-Med: You are right. I thought of your two black eyes immediately. And my go-to strategy is also near-hysterical laughter. Rad: Thanks, again, for being so awesome. Also, oh god! The tumbleweed joke! Probably you'll have to put that snooty woman in charge of something when you take office so no one goes public with this incident and makes ridiculous claims about you. Or maybe she'll move to Spain and get made fun of so mercilessly that her time among Americans won't matter 😉 Have I mentioned, yet, that I once did a version of the robot over dinner during a campus interview?Jess: Good point. I'm working on this, too. Especially in the post-interview phase of my career, I'm learning to tone it down a little, but that it's still important to get the word around when good things happen.AFtK: Thanks! And the ankle-turning sounds dangerous! A friend of D-Med and I had a similar condition. We once went out and she fell and sprained both ankles having tripped over nothing in the middle of the street. She later found out she has a vitamin B deficiency and since her doc put her on supplements, the falling has decreased significantly!Sheila: Oh god! I live in fear of that very thing occurring! (the skirt-blowing, I mean. The other stuff happens to me frequently, and I am comforted to know I'm not alone.)Sal: Too true. Especially because the wideness of the belt makes it an extra-sweaty accessory in summer!

  19. Aren't you glad that belt isn't the source of your superpowers? I mean, it's awesome and all, but how sucky to take it off and no longer be super?

  20. That's a kickin' bigass belt. Love it!I'm totally klutzy – I've banged into things, knocked things over, whacked my head…you name it. My worst work "accident" however, is when a gust of wind caught my full skirt and showed all my coworkers that I was wearing a thong (!). Yikes!

  21. You look fabulous and I am impressed by the trick of disguising a too big skirt–I can tell that it would look a smidge better a smidge shorter, but I would never have guessed that you were disguising a too big waste! And I think the belt rocks.Me, I turn my ankles a lot, sometimes falling–that is my comic embarrassing work difficulty.

  22. That skirt is so lovely and I am a fan of a statement belt. I've had a few foot in mouth moments when talking to colleagues. Mostly I have to remember how to walk the line of discussing positive developments without sounding braggerty. I think it is something women (at least in my program) have not been socialized to do as frequently as men.

  23. I don't know if long bodies NEED wide belts, it just what we wear like no one else does! I actually think you look great with just below the knee skirts (like this adorable number) which is another super power, because this is not something I feel I pull off well. I have a couple pencil skirts that I bought just a smidge too big, but when I lost a few frickin' pounds post school (or my NYC "7", from walking everywhere), it also sits at my hips. As for embarrassing moments at work, I once made fun of our dean who insists that we pronounce her Portuguese name in a way that makes it sound very very posh. My Spanish friend had told me that it wasn't even correct in Portuguese and I pronounced it to a group of colleagues (in front of Blokey) after a party, laughing like a hyena. One of my colleagues told me that based on her years in Portugal, that the way the snooty dean pronounced was right. And then a tumbleweed blew by on the Manhattan sidewalk.Luckily, I think everyone forgot, because I put my foot in my mouth often.

  24. You are lucky to have me for a friend, if I do say so myself, because I am extraordinarily clumsy. Remember my two black eyes when I interviewed? How many times have you seen me fall out of a car (I usually reserve this move for people I barely know)? I have fallen off my bike, for no good reason, at least twice as an adult. My only response when these things happen with work colleagues is to laugh hysterically. This results in people thinking I am clumsy and a little unhinged. Awesome.But I love your story about walking into a wall. And this wide belt is great. I think one of your superpowers might be belt-wearing.

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