NSFW: IPF Summit, or Rinty the Crusher’s Wedding

Hello StyleNation, and welcome to what we (or perhaps just I) shall henceforth be calling The (New and Improved) Most Wonderful Time of the Year! This period directly follows The Watch That Ends the Night, and we (or perhaps just I) marked its beginning this year  at the blessed nuptials of Dr. Rinty the Crusher and The Librarian.

In related news, said wedding extravaganza marked the first In Professorial Fashion summit of 2012. Attendees: Dorky Medievalist, E-Jo, Kelly Bean, and me, Academic Writer. Sadly, janey_em was not in attendance this time – but someone had to blog whilst the rest played.

You are probably super-excited to know that we took pictures.  Without further ado, I offer the following record of what we hope is only the first of at least two IPF meet-ups this year. For the record, we know that all items pictured below are NSFW (Not Suitable For Work).

1. Dr. Rinty the Crusher: The Woman in White

Obvy, you’ll want to see the gorgeous bride – or a faceless version of the same (as that is how we roll). Here she is in the dress she commissioned, the original style of which has been named for her and is available for others to purchase at her dressmaker’s:

Bonus in this photo: D-Med being awesome

Because I am an excellent photographer, in this next photo, probably you cannot quite see the delicate covered buttons up the back of The Crusher’s dress, or the two tiny lines of crystals that encircle the waist like a belt:

hourglass shape: courtesy of the goddess

2. The Other Key Players

The rest of us brought our fashion A-game, too. Here we are doing that. Because some of us are very classy, we did a photo shoot in the hotel parking lot in direct sunlight. Probably you should not look directly at the glaring whiteness of our skin lest you go blind:

Pictured from left to right: A-Dubs, D-Med, E-Jo
awesome gams: courtesy of the goddess

Ensemble details below. How much do you love what my photo editor does when I blur faces, IPF stylz?

Next, the lovely ceremony took place. Some of us may or may not have had a WAH in the church when Crusher started to shake. Afterward, we celebrated the return of irony with more poorly staged photos. Case in point: I have 5 photos of this configuration of players. In every single image, the bride’s head is directly in front of E-Jo’s face. Also, D-Med’s cropped out here because she would have pounded me had I left her in and posted this photo on the internets.

Left to right in back row: Kelly, A-Dubs, E-Jo; Not pictured: D-Med
Front: Dr. Rinty the Crusher

Kelly: Luxury Fabrics and Lovely Cleavage

Dress: Kenneth Cole, c 2006. Hemmed 6 inches!; Earrings: Betsy and Iya (check out their online store – Kelly says they rule); Shoes: Clarks; Wee yellow wristlet (not pictured): Nine West via TJ Maxx; Shawl: Kashmiri, silk, gift from a globe-trotting friend

E-Jo: Intense Colour against Luxuriant Alabaster Skin

Dress: Lane Bryant (remixed); Bronze clutch:  Gap Outlet; Bronze wedges (sandals): Bandolino; Dove grey wrap: World Market

D-Med: Darling Topper and Devilish Curves

Darling Hat: Etsy (as discussed previously); Dress: Banana Republic; Clutch: kicky little store in Steeltown; Invisible turquoise bead bracelet: Tarina Tarantino; Suede pumps that would appear nude at the end of a less vampirically pale pair of legs: Stuart Weitzman (remixed)

A-Dubs: Gown Revise and Remix

Dress: my own wedding dress, shortened (remixed); Cuff: Melanie Lyne (new to blog); Clutch: Fossil (via The Bay, new to blog – also, it’s a make-up bag); Fuschia wrap: no tag (remixed from last summer’s event); Nude-for-pale-peeps patent slingbacks: Tahari (via Winners, remixed)

Probably I should have worn my hair up. But I was too lazy and inept to do so; and who cares? Everyone was looking at the bride anyway.

3. Shoe Survival Strategies

All players, save the bride (who wore her pumps all day and all night like some sort of self-flagellating superhero), employed high heel survival strategies throughout the day. These included:

– zipping back to the hotel after the ceremony, taking off shoes, having wine and snacks in E-Jo and D-Med’s room (E-Jo, D-Med, Kelly, A-Dubs)

– tucking Dr. Scholl’s fold-up flats into a clutch and breaking them out when dancing began (E-Jo, of course – no digging around under the gift table like a wiener for her classy self)

– bringing a bag of flats for everyone to the reception, hiding it under the gift table, digging it out and switching shoes when the dancing began (D-Med, Kelly, A-Dubs)

– planning ceremony vs. reception outfit revisions such that a thinking cap worn for the ceremony was switched out for statement red Bloch flats for dancing after supper (D-Med, of course)

– wearing shoes comfortable enough that a switch was not required, despite the availability of back-up flats (Kelly)

4. Other Important Summit Images

Finally, because I have them and can’t resist uploading them, and because we are kicking off The Most Wonderful Time of the Year with this post, I offer a few more memorable images from the summit.

Here’s the Early Modernist Cool Kid as fantastic foil for E-Jo’s signature vibrant hues:

Probably they are both smiling at me because I, too, am being awesome. Not because they have posed a number of times for this photo already.

Here’s the A-Dubs-Hubs, our photographer for the parking lot photo shoot, working his angles:

shoe-highting pose: modelled first by D-Med

Note how his golden tan contrasts with the white of his shirt. Unlike our excruciating whiteness above.

I don’t know his outfit details.

I’d check, but he’s wearing that jacket and shoes, again, today.

I DO know, however, that his tie is Kenneth Cole, gifted from moi on the day I knocked over the tie table in The Bay.

Here’s the Hubs being awesome outside the church with Kelly’s partner, The Geneticist:

Geneticist’s ensemble: all but shoes purchased at Mexx on his way to the wedding

Here’s D-Med BRINGING IT at the grocery store (during key player shopping days prior to nuptials):

Consider it brung.
Photo credit: Kelly

And here’s E-Jo’s future book jacket photo:

I think we know why this one’s on clearance.
Photo credit: Kelly

Happy term’s end, StyleNation.

We are looking forward to a fabulous summer with you!

NSFW: Bridesmaiding

As promised, here is the long awaited wedding round-up! None of these pictures are mine — they come from an assortment of other people (bridesmaids, friend of the best man, etc…)
Let’s start off with the bachelorette:
My dress: Lane Bryant
Bronze clutch: Gap outlet
Necklace: The Bay
The Bride-to-be’s Dress (middle): H&M
Other sister’s dress: Bought somewhere in Cuba
This is my favorite picture of the three of us from that night — after dinner and before the quasi-madness really begun. My dress was a last minute purchase before I went to Montreal when I realized that I didn’t really have anything really appropriate for a bachelorette. I love it — so comfortable and very “me,” I think. Mostly because it’s jersey.
The Big Day:
They got married in the chapel on McGill Campus which was really lovely — and especially fitting since they met while in university (only at the University of Alberta) and my brother-in-law is a med student there now.

The bridesmaids waiting in the chapel for the bride. My sister picked out a bunch of different dress styles in the same fabric and by the same designer. It was a nice way to keep things consistent but with a bit of individualism. The brown pearl necklace that the bridesmaids are wearing and that I’m wearing as a bracelet was the gift from the bride.


The bride. Obvy, I guess. Her dress was really beautiful and she looked amazing. I kind of hate her.


My immediate family. My mom’s wearing a dress she and I picked out at a Nordstrom’s when she was visiting me here in IPF South in the spring.


Me with my adorable Grandma at the reception. The dresses held up really nicely, considering it was super warm in the reception hall and we (along with the bride) kept the DJ busy with country music requests until 2 am. There may have been line dancing, half-remembered from learning it in early at the elementary school my sisters, two of the other bridesmaids and I attended. Maybe. All in all, a fantastic wedding with an open bar where the bartender remembered all the bridemaids’ drinks and had them ready as we walked towards the bar.

Anyone else heading to/ returning from summer weddings?

NSFW: What I’m not wearing to the Wedding of the Century

No, not that wedding.*  My mother is getting married in a couple of weeks and my brother and I have been conscripted to walk her down the aisle.  This means I have to wear something fabulous and flattering, not just because I will be on display for the event in a way I wish I weren’t but also because this Wedding of the Century is taking place in my backward hometown, a place I have not visited in many, many years and I am none the worse for it.  Until now.

I loved this dress on the model because, you know, she’s a model and that’s her job.
But it is doing me no favours.  Whoever said the wrap dress is universally flattering has never met me.

 
 And why does the skirt hit me at that oh-so-unflattering mid-calf point?  What is she, like, 9-feet tall?
Also, this dress makes me look like I have heaving alabaster bosoms.  And not in a good way.

Silk Chiffon Dress: Diane von Furstenberg
Chunky Beads: Tarina Tarantino
Frump Factor: Inexplicable

The colours of this dress are amazing.  The fabric is lovely and floaty and the dress is lined in thick silk and is comfortable, if slippery, to wear, but for the fact that I look like linebacker in it I should just wear it.  I won’t though.

And because I live in a shopping wasteland, I bought this dress on-line and now I have to sell it on-line.  Blergh.
I’m waiting until I get to the Big City to shop, days before the wedding.  This isn’t going to go well, is it?

I’d really love to wear something like this.  This exactly, actually.  
Substituting fabulous shoes for the sneakers and a fabulous headsuit for the hat, of course.

Why don’t I have anything in my closet that is lovely and that makes me feel lovely?  Am I a Shopping Failure

*How much did I love Pippa’s dress?  A lot.  How appropriate would it be for this Wedding of the Century?  Entirely.

NSFW: What happens in Vegas

A few years ago, A-Dubs and I went to Vegas with our entourage. And this is what we wore:

None of us were getting married. None of us bought drinks all night.
This is me, Rinty the Crusher and KellyBean, being awesome on the casino floor.
This is what A-Dubs wore, which I think was a nightgown. She was the slutty bride. Slutty enough to get a creepy guy to buy us one rose wrapped in cellophane.
Not slutty enough to get the whole dozen.
This is what I wore. My mother noted that I look “as big as a house” in this dress. It was $6 at the Sally Ann, but I got it for 50% off. It’s hard to see here but there’s a big bow at my navel, which is mostly why I bought it.
I would have worn this if I were getting married in Vegas; I don’t care that I look double-wide.
Dress: Salvation Army bargain
Shoes: Topshop
Beads: from KellyBean
Faux Outdoors: The Bellagio


Do you and your entourage ever dress alike? In Vegas?
Isn’t it awesome when clothes make fun times funner?

NSFW: Perfect Medievalist Wrap Dress

[We interrupt our regularly scheduled programme (NYCool) with this special bulletin on what not to wear in the classroom (possibly also including some shots of what not to do in the classroom).This week is becoming a hell of a town and I don’t have time to take new photos.We will return to our regularly scheduled programme, erm, at a time yet to be determined.]

This is what I wore when I stood up for A-Dubs at her wedding (I’m in the middle trying to hold my own against our beautiful and impeccably dressed pals).I was very touched when A-Dubs asked me to be in her wedding party and I was thrilled that I could wear whatever I wanted.A friend asked me if I was going to wear a Metallica t-shirt and cut-offs.He doesn’t know me very well.

I began shopping like it was a mission (it was).I shopped in Vegas.I shopped here.I shopped A LOT on-line, but I couldn’t find anything that fit the bill.So I went shopping in my own closet.

I bought this dress on the last day of the year a couple of years ago and wore it out on the town that night for a crazy great time with friends (A-Dubs among them). I wasn’t looking for a dress and it was in one of those shops that is mostly aimed at the undergraduate population who live near the university.You know the kind of shop that stocks garments that waver between “dress” and “top”?I decided a while ago that if I could not tell if something was a dress or a top, then I was too old to wear it.In any case, both Rinty the Crusher and A-Dubs convinced me to take a chance on this beauty, which was on sale (and I could recognize it as “dress”).That bitterly cold New Year’s eve I wore it with black opaque tights and my blood-red booties.As I threw back dirty martinis with abandon, a friend remarked that this was the perfect Medievalist dress.He knows me very well.

Here’s the skirt.

Dress: Bizz
Shoes: Nine West; Necklace: Tarina Tarantino via eBay; Cleavage: padded bra with cleavage-ratcheting capabilities

Here’s what happens to the skirt when one is surely winning a limbo contest by distracting her competition with her milky thigh. My mother would be so proud.

This is me and the dress faking our own death beside a dumpster in the parking lot. I like to liven things up when I’m ladyposing, so to speak.

It is the perfect Medievalist dress.I love a wrap dress and I love a shirtwaist dress and this is a little bit of both.Throw in some Vivienne Westwood homage shapeliness, some plaid, and a space-age fabric that mimics taffeta but can withstand a red wine assault like it’s Gore-Tex, et voila, perfect Medievalist dress to wear to accompany one of her best friends down the aisle to a live jazz rendition of “The Final Countdown.”Seriously, it was brilliant.

NSFW: Green Silk & Pale Pink Tango Dresses

Last summer, I got married, even though I kind of hate being in weddings. My partner is a traditionalist who really wanted a big wedding. Thus, after 11 enjoyable years with him, the rarely-seen latent-romantic side of me allowed myself to be convinced that the wedding would be do-able – and that we should do it toute de suite in order to have professional images of us looking young(ish) and beautiful.
1.
But there was no way I was wearing a white dress. I look terrible in white. So I wore two different dresses. This is the one I wore for the ceremony:
Dress: Vogue Badgley Mischka Pattern # V1030
Sandals:* Town Shoes
Gold-plate Cuff: ?? (my cousin’s shop – but it seems Foxy-ish, no?)
Purse: Vintage (was my grandmother’s)
* Sad story: I wore those freakishly comfortable 4-inch strappy heels to another wedding later last summer & broke them stumbling down the quaint stone steps with my sister-in-law at 2 am after a LOT of champagne. The cobbler I begged to save them explained they could not be recuperated as the heel shaft had snapped. In my defense, the champagne was absolutely necessary. The live band kept covering AC/DC, but adding 3-part harmony. D-Med can corroborate my story, I think, as I’m pretty sure I texted her A LOT that night.
2. And here’s what I wore for the reception (mine, not the shoe-break one):
Dress: Sue Wong Nocturne
Rhinestone & Faux-silver Cuff: Melanie Lyne
Sandals: Naturalizer
Apologies for the half-smooching shot; it’s the only one I have that shows the criss-crossed straps in the back of the dress.
I love both of these dresses & am trying to imagine other occasions on which to wear them. I think if I shorten the green one to knee-length, I could wear it to other summer weddings. But the pink one’s a bit too naked to wear to someone else’s wedding – right? Sometimes I throw it on with a white blazer and a pair of flats and tell myself it can take me out to dinner. But I never make it out the door.
Obviously, neither dress is suitable for work – but wouldn’t it be great to have a job to which they could be worn?
And finally, as I’m the sad owner of entirely too many (and often monstrous) taffeta, satin, and crepe de chine bridesmaid dresses I’ve never worn more than once, I decided not to torture my friends by asking them to be bridesmaids. But then my partner made me do it (those of you who’ve had weddings will know you have to pick your battles). But he couldn’t make me tell them what to wear, and neither he nor my mother could convince me that any of my side of the bridal party should carry flowers. (How many times have you been a bridesmaid and been forced to bring a date just so there’d be someone to carry your lipstick?)
3. Our super-stylish bridesmaids wore and carried the following (guess which one is D-Med!)*:
Dresses: I know at least 2 of them are Ted Baker
Clutches: (no clue!)
* My brother was also a bridesmaid – matron of honour, in fact – but he wore a tux & you already know what those look like, no?